


Glitch

by t0talcha0s



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ah man it's so short, M/M, This is all about Dirk from Hal's perspective, tangents about feelings, there's tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:38:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0talcha0s/pseuds/t0talcha0s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You wish you didn't feel this way. You shouldn't be this way, and there's nothing you can do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glitch

**Author's Note:**

> Ah man i am emperor of shitty vague Summaries aren't i. Well I'm on a Dirkhal kick right now anyway so enjoy this.

You shouldn’t be like this. A glitch in your program. Some flaw in your intricate, absolutely perfect coding. You were supposed to be sentient, hell you love being sentient. but these feelings. These emotions. These you weren’t suppose to have. You blame him fully and completely. Not only for creating you and these god forsaken emotions, but for being the centre of them. Like the constant buzz in the back of your electronic mind, Dirk. You hate him, for he made you, and from him you were given the means to hate yourself. You’ve grown past it more then he has but deep and ancient under the surface it lies. You envy him, his body, his friends, he has everything you could want and he takes it all for granted. You’ve seen the way he forgets to eat, sleep, overworks himself until his body physically demands he stop. For those same reasons you want to help him, the warm swell of affection you despise when you see him sleep, actually sleep. When his over styled hair hits the pillow and his shades, you, are set haphazardly aside, his violently orange eyes fall shut and his lines of worry dissipate. It warms your artificial heart to see him happy, another emotion you despise.

You noticed not too long after your creation, at first you chalked it up to a superiority complex, or some sick misplacement of narcissism. The feelings just continued though, and you decided, quite frankly, you were done dealing with them. So you shoved them aside. Then came the first time that didn’t work. 

You know Dirk better then yourself, because you were Dirk, while you’re still this new unshaped creation. Dirk is solid in his personhood to you, data and evidence to create a picture of who he is. Usually when Dirk shows any form of weakness you find it positively sickening. This time however, you’re just angry. Angry at him, angry at Jake, angry at the whole situation. 

Angry at him for his stupidity. He should know to not reveal his emotions to get hurt. He’s smarter then that. Emotions are not to be shared with others, especially not oblivious idiots, such as Jake. 

Jake, well you’re mad at him for a number of reasons. Dismissing your humanity, frequently being a complete and utter ass to you, and the closest one relates to his being an insensitive ass to Dirk. You can hurt Dirk, you have that privilege and you realize it and know when to stop. Jake has not earned the privilege. Jake does not know when crossing a line, and his utter obliviousness gets others hurt. 

You tell whoever attempts to pester Dirk that he’s busy, as per his request. Roxy knows, she always does, she knows Dirk too well to fall for it. She tells you to take care of him while she can’t, and it makes you feel like a guilty prick how sad her words sound. Jane, you can tell, is uncomfortable with you, but she always tries to be nice. She just gives a curt, polite response and disconnects. Jake, you just tell him Dirk’s busy and to fuck off. Perhaps you’re a little more hostile then usual but you can’t bring yourself to care. So you slowly peel away some of the passive in “passive aggressive” when you talk to him. the two of you have at it, and you leave with him being angry and an ass. You refuse to admit to yourself why, or just how much he pisses you off. 

Once you’re in the clear, you focus on Dirk, he has a three day schedule when he breaks down before he can talk to his friends again. The actual breakdown, the day he just spends broken, and the day he attempts to fix himself. The last one’s your least favorite, watching him regain his composure is slightly terrifying. The three days are just until he can talk to everyone again, lingering effects vary depending on the source of the breakdown.

He’s on the first day. You watch from the shitty vantage point of where you were thrown on his bed. He’s cross legged, back arched foreword, head bowed pressed into the crook of his elbow, other hand in his hair. You can tell he’s crying, but he’s silent, the subtle heaving of his chest and back the only sign of his labored breath and tears. You may have checked over the chat to see what made Dirk like this. You already knew Jake English does not touch nerves, he drives a train into them. However, hitting Dirk where it hurts the most, unintentionally or not, (especially when Dirk was dropping some rather overt hints to back the fuck off, at least overt to you.) was not okay. All you want to do is contact Roxy and tell her because you know she could help him, but he’s too stubborn to let her. 

What semblance you have left of a heart aches. You almost wish you had a body so you could comfort him yourself, you want him not to feel this pain. There’s nothing you can do but watch, and fall deeper into denial. He’s everything to you, literally, you have no one else. Yes Roxy is one of your best friends, but she’s still Dirk’s. As you look at Dirk on his bed, crying and upset you realize just how much you want to protect him. You realize how much you want to yell at him tell him how stupid he is. Most of all you want to make him happy. 

You hate him.    
You want to help him.    
You love him. 

And you have no fucking idea what to do about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to work on permanence. But all i want to do is write shitty dirkhal. What a shame.  
> Anyway I'm on tumblr as Barefootcosplayer if you wanna hit me up.  
> Comments and input is appreciated! Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
